My daughter asked if I was Okay.
Both of my mother’s parents were Ukrainian.
She was proud of that heritage.
Proud of the stubbornness,
grit and determination
that was part of her bloodline.
The characteristics we see
as we watch the news.
Well – I’m not Okay.
And it’s Okay to say that.
There’s so much happening
that I don’t understand.
I lie awake at night wondering what’s next.
Pandemics … floods … earthquakes …
eruptions … tidal waves …
Businesses closing down.
The great resignation.
People closing down.
Inflation.
Addiction.
Depression.
War.
It’s too much some days.
Yet we move on.
We do our work.
We get groceries.
We raise money.
We pay bills.
We laugh and cry and scream.
And some of us wonder …
What the hell?
How can I help?
Why do I feel so useless?
What can I do …
I can stay strong right here,
Right now.
I can keep going.
I can continue to write and talk
and be present for the people I love.
Some of you know I’m writing
a book about identity …
Being part Ukrainian is part of my identity …
It’s not all of me,
but it’s enough of me that I’m angry.
Angry with what is happening.
Angry that I understand not wanting to start a world war.
Angry that Ukrainian people will feel the brunt of it.
Angry that other peoples have already experienced this injustice.
And I’m grateful.
Grateful for my health,
my security,
my family.
Grateful that I can be angry …
that I don’t have to decide whether to run
or to stand and fight.
To my shared bloodline …
I love you.
I am proud to be Ukrainian.
I can’t fight with you,
but I will fight for our future.
